Former iCarly star Jennette McCurdy has long been open about her painful relationship with her late mother, Debra — a story that continues to resonate as Hollywood faces renewed scrutiny over how young performers are treated. Growing up in Southern California with her parents and three brothers, McCurdy describes her childhood as tense and emotionally unstable. Her mother’s unpredictable moods left her constantly on edge, and finding her own identity took years. She eventually reached a point where she finally felt “free” from the emotional weight she carried for most of her life.
That journey inspired her one-woman stage show and best-selling memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died, which detailed the manipulation and boundary violations she says she endured. Apple TV+ is now adapting the book into a series, with Jennifer Aniston set to play the controlling mother of a young performer.
According to McCurdy, Debra raised the four children in a cramped, hoarded home where church was her only escape. After Debra’s death in 2013, McCurdy learned that only one of the four children was biologically her mother’s husband’s, and that her own biological father was a musician with whom Debra had a long affair.
Debra homeschooled the children while pushing Jennette into acting, insisting it was “their chance.” McCurdy says this pressure, along with invasive “exams,” strict dieting, and monitored showers, contributed to her early eating disorder. She later sought intensive therapy, which helped her recover.
Though Debra battled cancer for nearly two decades, McCurdy describes her legacy as deeply complicated. “I don’t hate my mom,” she has said. “She was complex — good and bad.”