So I guess my mom has money when it benefits her, but when I actually need help, suddenly she’s “on a budget.” She just bought a beach house — a vacation home — while I’m drowning in debt and trying to provide for my daughter.
I’ve told her how much I’m struggling, how my daughter needs a car to get to school, and she just nods and says, “I wish I could help.” Turns out, she could — she just chose not to.
She keeps saying she’s worked hard and deserves to enjoy life. Well, guess what? I work hard too, and I don’t get to run off to a beach house. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect some support, considering how much I’ve done for her over the years. But no, she’d rather sip cocktails by the ocean than help her own family.
Am I really supposed to just smile and be happy for her while I’m struggling? Does she even care about anyone but herself?
Hello everyone, Mom here.
I’ve spent my whole life putting my family first — working hard, saving, sacrificing. My husband and I always dreamed of a little house by the ocean, a peaceful place to enjoy retirement. But we kept putting it off, always prioritizing others, always saying, “One day.”
Then, six months ago, he passed away. And I realized that one day may never come. I knew he would have wanted me to finally live the life we dreamed of, so I stopped waiting. I bought the beach house — not as a luxury, but as a promise to myself to stop postponing happiness.
I love my daughter, and I understand that she’s struggling. But I’ve supported her for years. My retirement savings are not an emergency fund for her, and I don’t owe my granddaughter a car. I have given, and given, and given. At some point, she has to stand on her own.
This is not about selfishness — it’s about finally choosing to live. Am I really wrong for that?
