A rich old man had serious hearing problems for a number of years.

He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted with a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear 100%.

The elderly man went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said,

“Your hearing is perfect, your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”

Man replied,

“Oh, I haven’t told my family yet.”

I just sit around and listen to them gossiping about me. So far I’ve changed my will three times.

Three ducks walk into a bar…

“Say, what’s your name?”, the bartender asks the first duck.

“Huey.” was the reply.

“How’s your day been, Huey?”

“Great. Lovely day. Have a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?”, said Huey.

“Oh, that’s nice.”, said the bartender.

He turned to the second duck.

“Hi, and what’s your name.”

“Dewey.” came the answer from duck number two.

“So, How’s your day been, Dewey?”

“Great. Lovely day. I’ve had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?”

The bartender turned to the third duck and said,

“So, you must be Louie?”

“No.”, she said, batting her eyelashes.

“My name is Puddles.”