A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score…’ After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, ‘Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.’ Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score.’ Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, ‘Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.’

Now the pressure is on for the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains really hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops in the bed. The wife says, ‘What in the world was that?’ The old man says, ‘Half time, switch sides.